Thursday, December 16, 2010

Even When You Love Them, They Make You Nuts

If at some point in your parenting "career" you have not wanted to stick your children in the crawl space under the house and forget about them either a)  you haven't been doing it long enough or b) you're a fucking liar.
Don't get me wrong. I absolutely LOVE being a mom. I LOVE my children.  I also have a very limited amount of patience in my head.
And I would LOVE a margarita the size of a fish tank.
Having children of any age comes with it's own unique challenges. Span those ages from still-gestating to ready-to-drive and what you end up with is a mom that should probably be committed. 
I love my children. Love. LOVE. L.O.V.E. my children.  They are the light in my life and I would be empty without them.  However, a small vacation from them would be a welcome respite. 
There seems to be some kind of rotation going on that we have not yet been able to put our fingers on. (Thankfully) They don't all go wonky at the same time.  But, this also means that there seems to always be one of them doing something that is just flat stupid! So, by definition, there is never a time when all of them are just fine.  I don't know if this is purely a numbers thing because there are so many of them that statistically there will always be one of them in trouble. That seems likely. But it also seems like at any given time there should be some kind of calm. 
A couple of weeks ago a good friend said "you know who I never hear about...". Way to jinx it! Gee thanks. I've now spent the last couple weeks wondering if I've started speaking a totally different language or if this previously well behaved child has LOST HER DAMN MIND!
Seriously it's not that  bad. Not in the grand scheme of things. But a splinter under your nail isn't really that bad compared to a broken leg either.  I think part of my current frustration is that I thought that they were finally all on the same page.  I'm pretty sure I got a solid 24 hours of everyone playing nice together and actually listening to me.  Now the smallest request is met with a complete inability to follow the simplest instructions.  "Go shut the doors in the hall and then come back". Five minutes later I'm looking for the child. "Where did you go, I asked you to come back?". "oh, I forgot". Forgot? In the time it takes to walk down the hallway you FORGOT to come back?
This all sounds stupid even to me. If you're a parent you get it. Or you will.
Allie and Jane were supposed to fly out to their dad's last night.  Because of a stupid mistake on his part they didn't. I almost cried. Not because of the stress of the situation, but because they weren't LEAVING. I was going to have almost 3 whole weeks with 2 less children.  I needed this break. I needed the time slightly off, because I am slightly off.  I've come to depend on these times when they go to visit their dad. It's a luxury that not all parents get. That much needed break. When you're ready to run away from home your house is slightly quieter for a week or two.  Having that delayed was harder to deal with than the rearranging of travel that we had to do.  I don't ever want my children to not live with me. But, since I can't go on vacation every 6 months or so, it's great that they can.  I know that they need this break as much as I do. I know I'm making them as crazy as they are making me. 
I asked Doug last night - "What are we going to do when Fiona and Georgi are 11 and 13 and I just need a break?" He said "Easy, we send them to visit their sisters!" That's why I married him, he's always thinking!
Have I mentioned how much I love my children?

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