Thursday, August 28, 2008

Yes as a matter of fact I do want to be a good mom and live - thanks for asking!!

I took Allie to the doctor today and was talking with the family doctor about my pregnancy. Ideally I would like to have a home birth. The fact that I have had a c-section before complicates matters. There are risks involved and things to consider but I am beyond educated about it - just ask anyone who's been stuck in the room with me for more than 5 minutes in the last 3 months! I know the options, the risks, the dangers, the complications and the good that can come from having a natural birth at home. I know when the risks are increased and what the statistics are for those risks.
The doctor looked at me and said "don't you even think about it! Don't you want to be a good mom and live?" Seriously? Really? Actually I was planning on being a horrible, lifeless mother. Thanks for checking in. What's that saying? Oh yeah - here's your sign!
Then she moved on to asking if I was planning on scheduling my c-section at about 38 weeks. I told her no, I'm not having another c-section unless it's an emergency!
For anyone still reeling from the shock that I am even considering having this baby at home, relax. I'm not going to do anything that would put me or the baby at risk. And Doug would pick my big ol' pregnant butt up and carry me if he thought I was going to do anything stupid.
Yes, if I go into labor early like I'm prone to I will be the first to head off to the hospital ready to succumb to whatever interventions the wish to push on me to prevent the baby from making an early debut. However, once I hit 37 weeks you can bet it will be an act of congress working with God to get me in a hospital outside of a true life-threatening emergency.
This is my baby. This is my body. Unless you put the baby in it you don't get a vote in how I get the baby out!
Doug has been wonderful through all of this. It is an emotional roller coaster that I wouldn't I wouldn't wish on anyone. Standing in the kitchen at one o'clock in the morning crying is not my idea of a good time. Nor Doug's for that matter, which you'd never guess considering that this is how we spend at least one night a week.
Doug's placid, almost stoic-seeming nature has been beyond a blessing sometimes. While there are moments when I want to rage at him for his unflappable composure more often than not it's helpful. (shhh don't let him know that ;-)) His conviction that everything will turn out fine is startling to me. I don't know if with all that we have going on he just doesn't have it in his brain to add this to it or if, as it seems, in his heart of hearts this is what he believes. I asked him "aren't you worried about my labor starting early?".
"why not"
"why should I be? It's different this time"
"Yeah but last time - "
"This isn't last time. It'll be fine."
And then life continues. It's conviction that would be called faith in anyone else. I've been hesitant to make this correlation to him but it is the only thing that fits. I'll take it. Whatever you choose to call it- I'll take it.
So while I'm waiting to be a terrible zombie mom I'll continue my quest to find a midwife that will help me deliver at home. It may cost Doug a kidney, his appendix and possibly his spleen but I think we can live with that. And I'm pretty sure he can too.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Chaos reigns supreme

and all is right with the universe!
Allie and Jane came home yesterday after almost 2 months! I'll definitely say that those extra 2 weeks made a huge difference and I'm not sure I'll agree to the extra time again. It's selfish I know but I missed my girls! Doug was too funny. He woke up at about 6 after a very restless night. I turned over to him staring at me. As soon as I opened my eyes he said "the girls come home today, Honey!!!". Anyone who knows Doug knows he's not functioning that early, let alone smiling.
Yesterday was a big day. After a little bit of relaxing and hugs it was back to life as usual. Rooms had to be cleaned and laundry had to be done. They did spend a lot of time outside riding their bikes and letting their friends know they're home. I think Allie actually called everyone she knew!
There is always a period of adjustment when they come home. Their table manners were horrid and they have they have picked up the habit of "playfully smacking". The latter an absolutely unacceptable behavior. I understand the rules at their dad's house are much more lax than here but it's hard to believe that such disrespect to an adult, especially a parent, is tolerated. It was still hard to believe. We did have a firm discussion at dinner (having the whole family back at the table was WONDERFUL) that they are home now and home rules apply. There are some adjustments to be made and some new rules for this year. But we all agree that it is going to be a great year!
We discussed new-found responsibility with Allie since she will be going into middle school this year. How she will be responsible for her own self each morning and will be responsible for getting herself up and ready for school by 6:40. I will definitely say it is not something she is looking forward to! We also explained that everything from what assignment she has in each class to what she has for lunch is available for us to see online and late or missing assignments will NOT be tolerated.
Jane is also excited about being on her own this year. She will be responsible for getting up and ready for school without having Allie there for company. This will be a big challenge for her to be more independent.
Krystyne is even excited to have her sisters home (although I doubt you could get that out of her even under torture!). While there were a few initial scuffles by dinner they were all laughing and joking with each other. Krysty is also looking forward to the new year and I think learned from her mistakes last year.
They are all super excited about the baby and seem anxious for her to be here. Aren't we all.
Balancing working from home and the girls home now is going to be a challenge. But honestly I think it may be easier. They are so helpful that I think we'll fall into a groove pretty easily.

The world is in order again!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Krystyne's Fashion Show

Last weekend the local mall held a Back to School Fashion show that Krystyne tried out for and was picked to do. While hauling my big ol' butt around a crowded Saturday mall is not really my idea of a good time I was looking forward to watching her strut her stuff on the runway. She had a really great time and looked awesome! It's hard for me to believe how mature she's getting. 8th grade starts in just a few weeks and she's definitely a teenager now! Doug and I, his mom, sister and neice were all there to show our support. She did a fantastic job. Of course now we're going to have to get a bigger stick to beat the boys off with!

Good job baby girl!!

23 weeks 3 days

Ok so this is really not the best picture. Doesn't seem like I take great ones these days. We've got another doctor's appointment tomorrow so I'll let everyone know how that goes then. Seems like Fiona is growing like a little weed. A little kick-boxing weed most days. That makes Doug a happy Papa to be able to feel her move.