I've been restless lately. I've been trying to figure out what's been causing it and trying to figure out how to fix it. What I've figured out is I've not been taking enough time for myself. Not just quiet coffee time or time to relax, but no time to do anything for Me.
When you're up to your eyeballs in kids and work and home and and and
and... you tend to let your self get lost in the shuffle. I've decided
that the time I don't take for myself is just causing more chaos.
There's no time to get my head on straight. There's no focus. There's no
chance to see that everything is not falling apart when I feel like I
I am very lucky. I have a husband who understands how
important this is. When he comes home at the end of the day and all the
kids are alive and well the fact that the house is a mess, dinner is
still only an idea I had once goes fairly unnoticed. I've managed to
pass the laundry on to him and the bulk of the chores in the house to
the kids, yet I still feel like I'm not accomplishing anything in a day.
Fiona is in daycare full time. Where is my focus? I should have it all
together and I don't. It's been bothering me. I've struggled getting
everything done. I've struggled keeping my emotions in check. I've just
been locked in chaos and trying to figure out how to get out of this
So I decided it's time to refocus my attention
back on myself. We've been here for about nine months now and I really
haven't made many friends. I sent email requests to some Meetup groups. Time to dive back into the Mommy-Group-Circut. While I had a really
bad first experience in the setting I was able to turn it around and
met some of the most amazing women. I miss my circle of friends and the
comfort they provided. I enrolled everyone in the local YMCA and have
only once used the facilities. It's time to kick it up a notch. I've
lost a good amount of weight since we've been in California but it's
time to actually get myself in shape. We have a pool and I want to be
able to use it without embarrassment. I want to be able to look at
pictures of gatherings where I thought I looked awesome when I left the house and not wonder how I gained 10lbs between the house and the car!
belief is that if I can focus more on myself then I can be a better
mommy and a better wife. If I concentrate on the woman then I can more
adeptly handle the tasks my family need me to. I don't believe in
putting everyone's needs above my own because then they are not getting
the best of me. I think every woman/mother/wife should make sure her
needs are met so she is better equipped to deal with the needs of her
family. And yet I'm failing to do that myself. So here I go. Head first into caring for ME. Into being better to myself. I need to figure out specific goals.
What would you do if you could? Where would your personal work-shop start? What is something important to you that you let get lost in the shuffle?