Friday, May 27, 2011

Dear Ridge and Valley Women

It’s taken me a while to write this because I’ve been in a bit of denial lately. I worried that it was negatively affecting the group and that’s why I turned it over to (the wonderful) Carla when I did. And truthfully that should have happened sooner but, I had a hard time letting go.

For those that don’t know, my husband has accepted a transfer opportunity with his job. He currently works 70+ hour weeks and travels a third of the time. Obviously this creates a poor work/life balance for all of us. We have been talking about and looking into different options for some time now. In just about a month we pack a truck and make the 1100 mile drive to southern California.

I wanted to take the time to thank all of the wonderful women in this group. When I started it just over a year ago I never expected anything to come out of it. I never expected that there would be this small community of women who have come to mean so much to me. It breaks my heart a little to have to give up and let go of this group. I started it out of a bit of rebellion. I had been rejected by other “Mom’s Groups” and told that I just wasn’t the type. I’m opinionated and have a potty mouth. I have an ex-husband and am not afraid to say I can’t afford something. I am not defined by my children. I know that my girls are not spectacular to anyone but me and am not afraid to admit I find stranger’s kids irritating. I knew (or at least hoped) there were other women around here like me. I wanted a place to be able to connect and support each other. I wanted to be able to bitch/celebrate about my house, my kids, my husband or the kick ass new shoes I just found. I wanted to have the joy that only comes from a good circle of girlfriends. I found it.

And now I’m leaving it behind. I have had to pull back a bit over the last few months. I feel as though I am severing a limb and now have to sit back and lick my wounds.

My older daughters are struggling with leaving their schools and friends behind. They’ve heard, but doubtfully understand, that this is what’s best for our family. I know it doesn’t make it easier for them. I do understand and it doesn’t make it any easier for me. Here I sit, in the shoes of my teenage daughters, and if fucking sucks.  

I know that I am taking a bit of every one of you with me in my heart. I have made friendships here that will last a lifetime. I wish I could thank you all individually for what you have brought to my life. Through this group I have made connections and learned the real importance in having a strong group of women surrounding me. I have laughed until I snorted coffee, cried over losses and celebrated victories with you. We have welcomed new friends and had to say goodbye to others. Now it is my turn to say goodbye.

I wish you all the best in everything you do. Thanks to the magic of the internet we are never that far apart. And I promise to always be here with an inappropriate commentary or some ridiculously blunt take on parenting.

Thank you, Ladies –for all that you are and all that you have given me.



Sarah Jo said...

You made me cry, Brandy. I heart you big.

Elissa said...

This was beautiful, Brandy. I can't tell you how much it meant to me that you started this group when you did. At the time, I was lonely, insecure about my new role as a Mommy, and didn't know if I would ever fit in or fit the mold of a SAHM/WAHM. Thank God for you and your courage. Although, I wasn't able to make it to a lot of the meetups, I always felt welcome, and I never, ever felt that I couldn't be myself. You will be missed.

Karen said...


I am so glad to have you as a friend. I completely understand what you are going through, since four short years ago, I did the opposite transition, moving from Northern California, up here. I can't thank you enough for starting this group. I have made so many great friends. Please know that you will be missed. I wish you the best of luck with everything the future holds for you and your family.

Brandy said...

Thank you gals! You're all so awesome. I couldn't have done it without the love and support of each one of you!