Wednesday, January 11, 2012

I'm Back

Well, maybe "back" isn't exactly right. Back would mean that I was gone. I wasn't gone, I just wasn't here. And in all truthfulness that was really probably best. I wasn't in a good place. I wasn't in a good writing place.The blog posts in my head were depressing even to me and I just couldn't bring myself to put it all out there. Not in a vulnerability kind of way, but more of  a no-one-wants-to-read-this-shit kind of way. In a I-don't-even-want-to-type-this-shit kind of way!
Honestly it was  all ridiculous. The blow up that I was expecting between me and my mom happened. There's no way to leave at 21 and come home at 34 and not have it happen. And it was more than just that. It was the expectations I was failing to live up to, the family functions I was expected to attend at the cost of my own family traditions (Christmas).  Add my own craziness that comes from living in chaos in a house that just won't ever feel like mine and I just had to shut the lid on the laptop for a while.  But here I am feeling a little bit better and the holidays behind me and ready to do it all over again. 
I miss it here. I miss my little piece of cyber-space and both the people that read this thing.  I am feeling the urge to write again. I am feeling the words pour though my head and look for a page to call home. So even though we have a TON going on, as always, I feel like I'm "back". Or maybe - more accurately - still here. Still standing. And still rambling on. Thanks for hanging around.

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