Top 7 Ways to Have an Unnecessary C-Section

I found this while poking around on various pregnancy/childbirth websites and found it amusing so I thought I'd share. (I need to just get it over with and get my childbirth educator/doula certification)

re-posted from this site.

7. Go the hospital in the early phases of labor. Get there realllly early so you feel a lot pressure to perform, even though you know that labor is usually a slow process. The earlier the better so you can get tagged with ‘failure to progress’ and get started with a series of medical interventions that’ll often end in a c-section.

6. Don’t eat or drink during a long labor. Just wear yourself out completely and then complain loudly of fatigue. This will up your chances of medical personnel suggesting the solution.

5. Get an amniotomy too soon. Once they burst your bubble you’re now on the clock for a cesarean. If you manage to move along at a snail’s pace you’re sure to end up under the knife!

4. Accept pitocin to induce or stimulate contractions. Since fetal distress is associated with the drug, you’ll have to have continuous electronic fetal heart monitoring which will immobilize you. Good call! The less you move around the better – that’s sure to slow the train. Plus, the drug-induced contractions are so strong you’ll be screaming for an epidural in no time.

3. Request an epidural. Now you’re totally immobilized, yay! Labor’s progress will likely slow down even further and pushing effectively will likely be much harder since you can’t get into any vertical or squatting positions that would work in your favor.

2. Accept hospital staff’s comments on lack of progress without challenge. Once they start complaining that you’re poking along and taking up space, get discouraged and give up. Turn all decisions over to them and you’ll be wheeled away in no time.

1. Just ask! Oh yeah … these days you don’t actually need to go through the hassle of labor at all. Just call up your OB and tell him/her you’d like to schedule your baby – the whole pushing a baby out thing is so inconvenient and last millenium. Your OB will probably be relieved anyways because you’ll be one less lady who might interrupt a good night’s sleep.

*A note on this list: Clearly there are real medical emergencies that can happen, and in those cases c-sections can be true life savers. However, the sad fact is that most cesareans are not done for legitimate medical reasons and in the last decade the number of c-sections has doubled to over 30% of US births. It’s not surprising that so many doctors are in favor of elective cesareans – after all, it’s certainly more convenient and they get to charge lots more $$$. As for us moms who get to make this choice – my feeling is that many women are just not well informed about the risks … because make no mistake: a c-section is a major abdominal surgery and poses significantly more risks to both mom and baby.

And since I like to end on an upbeat note, I wanted to share the cartoon above because it accurately reflects my feelings at this stage. :)

I thought I was catching up

I guess not! Oh well.
There has been a lot going on the past few weeks.
Last weekend Doug and I drove down to Portland to meet my brother Danny for the first time. Long story condensed and dirt free is that he is my dad's son from his second marriage. When they split up she took Danny with her and that's pretty much where our involvement ended. Until about 8 months ago when I got an email from Danny trying to get in touch with my dad. There's a lot of messy details in the middle as there always is in the dissolution of a marriage and since I wasn't there I'll not speculate. At least not in such a public forum. ;)
Danny is awesome. We had a really great time when we met up at a park in Portland. He is a younger version of my father. The laugh, the smile, the mannerisms - everything. It's not just me seeing what I want to see because I finally was able to meet him. Doug noticed it too after only meeting my dad at the wedding. Even their personalities are similar. It makes it incredibly easy to be with him and connect with him. Which is just fantastic.
Fiona thought Uncle Danny was just the best thing since Cheerios! She normally has a bit of shyness and won't go to someone new for some time. She didn't have that issue with him and had no problem crawling all over him right away. I'm hoping he and his lovely wife will make it up for Labor Day weekend. His wife, Lisa, is awesome too. We connect on a woman-mom level and that's always good. Women can be friends with just about anyone - our families bind us - and being family is a great way to start.
Fiona cut her first tooth yesterday! I'm so excited but also a little nervous. She's still nursing and we're learning about this as we go. I'm not sure what happens when the teeth come in but we'll see. She's getting so HUGE it's just amazing. She can creep along the edge of the couch now. She can't pull herself up on the couch because the edges are too slippery but if you let her grab your hand she can stand up and will walk along the edge. She can go from her belly to sitting and then pull herself up standing in her bed or in her little play-yard. But she hasn't quite figured out that you must do it in that order. She can't pull herself from her belly to standing and that frustrates her sometimes. We bought her a walker but the pile on the carpet is too high and she just isn't quite tall enough to be able to move it around. It will all happen way too soon. But it sure is exciting.
We are trying for baby number 5. It's taking a little longer than I had anticipated but I know sometimes these things do. When it is right it will happen. We are both taking our vitamins and doing what we can. I am leaving the rest up to the powers that be.
I had the realization the other day when talking with someone that saying you are trying to get pregnant is akin to announcing "Hey everybody! We're having SEX - with a purpose!" While it's a normal assumption that this is something that happens between happy (and even sometimes no so happy) couples/adults, announcing it doesn't usually happen. This also opens the door for people to ask you whether or not you're having sex. While it may not be so blunt as all that it still is the same "so you're trying then?" Even funnier is the fact that this opens the door to questions regarding all kinds of other personal details that no one would think to ask any other time. Because we are actively trying we are taking some steps to try to make this a little more successful. I am doing BBT charting (for those of you that don't know what that is - look it up) and so we have a pretty good idea when exactly I can get pregnant and when I can't. This leads to some interesting questions. It just amuses me that something once so personal becomes so very public and open for random discussion. And yes I know, blogging about it on the internet doesn't exactly help. But we are of the information age and here's the information like it or not!
Doug is still loving his job. He is super busy and working very long hours. But it keeps him interested and out of the bars so I'm OK with it. :) It's nice to see him so passionate about his work. He takes what he does very seriously and his responsibility to the people he works with and for is very important. I do sometimes have to nudge him and remind him that whatever it is can wait until morning or later but for the most part he handles the balance well. Even though I am working part time from home I am very much back into the roll of housewife and keeper of all things domestic. I find I'm enjoying it and learning a new balance myself. I'm looking forward to the new school year and how that will mean adjusting the schedule for all of us.
Krystyne starts high school this year. Yikes! I'm not sure when I got old enough to have a child in high school but I'm not ok with it. I know she's excited and I am excited for her too. We are looking forward to going to the orientation next week.
Allie is starting 7th grade. I know that she's excited about being with the same kids for the third year in a row. She is also going to be playing in band again this year. I am hoping that she will try out for jazz band, too. She's doing so good with her trombone I know she'd have fun getting to perform more often. I think it will be good for her and Krysty to be in different schools this year, too. It will give them both the opportunity to get out of the "arent' you Allie's/Krystyne's sister" thing that they get into. I'm excited for what the new found independance will do for her.
Jane is going to be in 4th grade. She wants to start playing more sports this year and I think she will really enjoy it. She's getting so much bigger all the time. I just have to make sure that she doesn't get too big for her britches. It's hard when there are bigger sisters running around.
The biggest challenge when you have a large family is making sure that everyone gets the time and attention they need. Because of the wide range in needs this can prove tricky Doug and I as parents. This is something that we are aware of and are consiously working on. While it is difficult it is worth every bit of effort and we wouldn't change a thing.
So that's our latest update. We hope you all are doing well!